#18-Turn and face the strain....

Note: Open this link. Cue music. Read:

OK..that's cheesy...oh well....


Well.

Semester is over.

Crazy.

I have so much to say.
So much to tell....I myself am behind on my own thoughts..I don't even know where to go from here. I feel now exactly how I did after my first trip to Israel: worn out and just done.

Needless to say, I don't actually have much to say.
My computer is unusable right now..meaning it will be awhile before I get pictures up...and I have a ton.

Especially from Egypt.

I am living on campus here through December...it is me and a few others. Its been good. Doing things I have never actually had to truly concern myself with in my life, mainly food...haha.

I am working on a project: a calendar that mixes the Gregorian and Hebrew calendars.....its a long explanation..I hope to have more about soon....let me know if you are interested.

In the mean time, here are my thoughts right now.

I am sad.
Sad in the sense of time moving on and by. Today I was really thinking back, "reminiscing about the good old days."
I just posted a comment on facebook, basicaly saying the same thing:

when did my generation grow up?
It blows my mind looking at how many people I know/knew who are now married, in the military, in college, etc.
it is so easy for me to look at my own life and downplay the things I am doing and have done, and where I am going,
but when I look at my freinds, man! Times have changed drastically. I can't believe the things people are doing. It amazing.

I don't feel like I have been part of it much...so much has gone on with myself over the past few years...I've had so many things on my mind...many things I never even let anyone know was even on my mind at all.

Things that distracted me from reality. Not daydreaming, but just trying to make sense of the reality I am in and I had put myself in.

I have met some amazing people here on campus....some of the coolest people I have met in years.

I haven't felt like myself the past few years, at least, not on a normal basis...
It is very easy to act like myself around the very select people at home I am OK with doing so...my heart is a extrovert.

Otherwise, 90% of the time, I really don't input much and I isolate myself...coming off very introverted to a lot of people.

This semester, I think one of the best outcomes of it, was the fact I got to just act like myself. I didn't shun myself because the people here were actually amazing enough where I didn't feel like letting them see who I am would be an absolute waste of time...to those reading this who really know me, you know what i am saying.

But it makes me curious as to what the past few years could have been like if I had held on to friendships I had and continued to do and be interested in things I used to be interested in that use to tie me together with people. I burned bridges very fast throughout high school, out of desire for my own future...now, I wish I had held on longer.

Life has been interesting the past few years.

I urge you, look at my generation. We are, in my own biased mind, the most unique generation to of lived so far.
it is going to be fascinating to see where life leads in the future...I hope to be a part of it more than I have been up until now.

Hell, why am I living in Jerusalem and yet, here I am sitting on a computer?

goodbye!


-me